The Secret Flight Attendant Answers Readers' Questions: "There are slight undertones of sexism from both passengers and pilots"

Whenever I tell someone I work as cabin crew, I’m instantly bombarded by questions.

“Oh, have you met any famous people?”

“Is there a secret flight attendant code?”

(And unfortunately, often on dates) “Has someone ever tried to join the Mile High Club while you’ve been working?”

There is something about the job that seems to be unusually fascinating to people, and USTN readers are clearly no exception. They submitted scores of questions, which I will attempt to answer in my third column for USTN and, if possible, give some behind-the-curtain insight into the lives of flight attendants.

1. Is it true that you aren’t paid when the plane is not in the air? 

It is true. At the moment, my airline does not compensate us for time spent on duty before takeoff, which means we’re not paid for the time during the boarding process, conducting safety checks, or preparing the cabin and pretakeoff service. Our pay usually begins when the doors close and the plane starts moving. An extra reason to be lovely to your cabin crew before takeoff and after landing!

I know that some airlines pay crew a cut rate for their work pre-takeoff, but this depends on your union and your airline. I think Delta were actually the first to do it, and their flight attendants aren’t unionised, I don’t think. Either way, here's hoping!

2. If you fly while off duty, do you tell the flight attendants you are a flight attendant? Is there a secret handshake or code? Will you get special treatment?

Yes! Again, there’s no secret code because we really don’t need one. I just say hi and tell them where I’m sitting. It's good practice, I think, in case there is an emergency on board, so the crew know where to go for an extra hand to help out. 

There isn’t much special treatment. An extra drink, a nice chat, and some knowing looks are the most I’ve received, and I’m pretty happy with that!

An extra beverage is typical when you are a flight attendant not working on a flight.

3. My daughter has just informed me that she wants to be a flight attendant, but I am nervous that she will face abuse and sexism, given how much air rage has increased in recent years. Am I right to be concerned or am I being irrational? 

That’s lovely to hear! I’m always so touched when little girls or boys tell me they want to do what I do. I think it's super important to be honest. Being a flight attendant is so much more than just a job; it changes your whole lifestyle. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. If your daughter knows what she’s in for and she still wants to do it, she’s in for a treat.

To answer your question, though, unfortunately, yes. There are sometimes slight undertones of sexism from both passengers and pilots. I’ve heard some pilots say some awful things about cabin crew, and passengers can be downright disrespectful to female flight attendants. It’s become more unacceptable to be openly sexist, so hopefully, attitudes will change eventually, and maybe your daughter can be part of that!

USTN ran a campaign, #FlyFreeFromHarassment last year that shone a light on sexual harassment against US flight attendants.

4. Is there an age you get to when you suddenly feel too old to fly? Would you say it’s a job for young people? 

I would say you’re never too old. Some of my favourite, most capable colleagues are of the older generation. Often, they have just as much energy as the younger crew, but are far more experienced. They’ve seen and dealt with everything, so I'd always like one on my team.

I think it depends less on age and more on where they are in life and what their priorities are. It’s quite hard to have a normal family life while working as a flight attendant, so you often hear that it suits the younger generation, as they are less likely to be tied down, but I know colleagues who make it work. 

One day, I might feel too old to be a flight attendant, but I can’t see a time when I feel too old to fly; I love it. 

5. There has been a recent spate of airline crashes in the States, and it's making me worried that flying is not as safe as it has been made out to be. What do you think? 

I think we’re all sharing that worry a little bit. I know friends who work on flights in and out of Washington who were pretty rattled by the January crash. Some of them have had to ask for time off to process their emotions, and I’ve heard a few are leaving their jobs. 

Personally, I look at the stats and even with some awful incidents recently, on average, flying is still the safest type of transport. I’m actually more nervous in my car on the way to the airport than I am on the plane. I’m used to it, I guess.

For passengers who are nervous about flying, we are always there to help, so please let us know if there’s anything we can do to make you more comfortable, whether it's a reassuring chat or a handhold. I know that the crew are always happy to help.

The DC plane crash resulted in 67 deaths

Please submit your questions to info@USTN.com as I will be answering the most popular ones about being a flight attendant again next week! Also, if any US flight attendants out there agree or disagree with my answers, please get in touch as I would love to hear from you. Identities will be kept anonymous.